What makes us sluts?

If you are single man or woman who is sexually active and refuses to settle, you are bound to rack up a certain number of partners over time.  The question is, how many partners is too many? And a better question; why does this matter?

Somehow, between your sweet, innocent first kiss and the casual fling with the hot foreigner you had last weekend, you get labeled a slut. A woman’s heart is a deep cavern of secrets and her reasons are her own.
Maybe as a little girl she was told about Prince Charming riding off into the sunset on his sparkling white steed, and ended up cleaning up after his horse shit. Then one day she noticed the stable boy who was kind and patient, and had rippling abs from frequently shoveling all that shit. However, now that she was a princess, it was looked down upon for her to spend time with a commoner, even though everyone knew the prince was a pompous little prat. So, the princess had to see the stable boy in private, and listen to her ladies-in-waiting whisper behind her back. What a slut!

Maybe after a little while she realized as royalty she had quite a platform for helping others, and started charities to raise awareness and help prevent child abuse. After all, the memory of her evil stepmother and stepsisters would not be stricken from her memory any time soon. And it was on her mission to set things right in the kingdom that she met a handsome revolutionary…..

Or maybe she divorced the prince’s sorry ass and went to travel the world.

My point is, I don’t understand the label ‘slut’. Whether every lover a woman has is meaningful to her or she just wants her nethers attended to is not the point. Life isn’t always so black and white, and sexuality is a lot more complicated than the restrictions we’ve tried to ascribe to it over the centuries. Ever since women came out of the cave, took a look around and said “this isn’t so bad”, things have been evolving. With the advent of contraception, sex is no longer just about producing legitimate offspring for your mate. If a woman is smart about her body and who she lets enter it, sex can be about pure enjoyment.
And whose to say multiple casual flings will prevent her from developing more meaningful couplings later on?

A real man (or woman) won’t mind how many partners you’ve been with. They will fall in love with you; the awesome woman who you are today as opposed to someone who is the sum of all the bone she’s had in her.

Besides, a princess can tell a keeper much more effectively if she knows all the different shades of toad. Does this make her a slut if she’s kissed a few in her day?

According to the internet, today is International Girl Day. Let’s take a minute to think about slut shaming and how it really just brings us all down. Respect is a two way road, and its a very broad road between acceptance and judgment. As women, we’ve got to help each other out here.

As Tina Fey said, “You’ve got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it okay for men to call you sluts and whores.”

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7 responses to “What makes us sluts?

  1. I don’t look at the term “slut” as derogatory. When and if I refer to a man or woman as such, I hope it conjures up images of a person who has lived life to the fullest.

  2. I’ve always told my friends not to call women sluts just because they slept with this guy or that one. I think there’s a saying, “A slut is a girl who has slept with everyone but you.” So, maybe it comes from a place of jealousy. Not sure any guy that has slept with more than 15-20 women uses the word ‘slut’ loosely. And if he does he probably has a lot of money and slays bitches left and right. A logical person can see the problem here with say the nature of some college men – A girl has sex with 5 guys in one night… SLUT. OH MY GOD. DISGUSTING, (Even the guys that enjoyed having sex with her call her a slut). A guy has sex with 5 girls in one night… HIGH FIVE! DUDE THAT WAS AWESOME. YOURE MY HERO. ::shotguns beer::

    And so I tell this to my guy friends whenever they insist that this girl is a slut, “But… you would sleep with her if she walked into your room naked right now wanting to stay with you? And yet you still call her a slut… what does that make you – eh?”

    I was at a party and a guy asked a girl to take her top off and flash him, even insisted that she let him jerk off on her? This took place on an apartment balcony – great game, guy. In any case, she immediately grabbed her friends and left, meanwhile the guy and his friend yelled, “Slut! Slut!” as she walked out. I asked who said it, guy raised his hand. I said, “Fuck you.” And I left.

    Happy ending: The guy later found me on facebook and sent a message apologizing. Apparently I made an impression – unfortunately, he was apologizing to the wrong person.

    • I do think that there is a reason for the slut/stud dichotomy, however. Simply put, it is quite easy for even an unattractive woman to have sex with many men. This is not the same in reverse. Men have to bring much more to the table than women to successfully have sex with a woman. So, if a woman says, “I had sex with five guys” I would think she was a slut. Why? Because it’s an abuse of power, basically. Whereas, if a guy told me he had sex with five girls, first of all, I’d be highly suspicious. If I found evidence that it were true, I’d be both jealous and impressed. I’d be jealous of the guy because he’d achieved something against the odds which I, admittedly, could not also achieve. I wouldn’t be jealous of the girl. She didn’t achieve anything impressive.

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