Is Your Wood Organic? (try vegan condoms)

Today I received a text message from one of my lady friends in regards to a new development at the local Whole Foods. Apparently, there are now organic vegan condoms for purchase. My first reaction was to savor the fact that I have friendships where it is perfectly appropriate to share such news with elation, and the second was to get my eco-friendly ass down there to see for myself.

The condoms I currently have in supply are of the free health clinic variety, and come  (no pun intended) in cheerful neon shades. As another one of my pithy friends pointed out, its no longer necessary to wait for a sci-fi convention to fuck a Vulcan when you can just roll a green rubber onto his junk. Nevertheless, I haven’t given much thought to what the condoms were made of. I always assumed latex, or lambskin. The main focal point was function, not formula. However, for the past 2 months or so, I’ve experimented with my diet and have removed virtually all meat (with the exception of fish—I blame my Catholic upbringing for the distinction) and dairy (I’m lactose intolerant). But how far is it necessary to take my pesca-veganism? I’m not super anal retentive about what foods I eat; if I find out I just ate something with egg or bits of ground beef, I’m not the person who makes a face and spits it up in her napkin.

So what exactly is a vegan condom? Well, according to this article,  a lot of latex condoms contain the milk protein casein, and lubes can have dairy enzymes or honey as ingredients. Vegan condoms use cocoa instead of casein. It gives “chocolate love” a whole new meaning, doesn’t it?

The adage in favor of vegan condoms is if you wouldn’t put an animal in your mouth, why would you put one on your wang?  Or, I suppose, in my case, put the wang in my mouth. While I’ll grant they have a point,  I find some flaws in the logic. For one, I would be eating the dick, but not really eating the dick. As in, I do not plan on my stomach acid touching it. My digestive tract will not play a part in the sexy times.

Nevertheless, for those of us with active sex lives, the thought of a more bio-degradable, eco-friendly (and possibly candy flavored) condom is worth consideration. I purchased some of these organic condoms, and intend to see if there is much difference in how they perform. They were a little more expensive than the regular kind, but hey, its worth a shot.

What do you think? Is taking veganism into your sex life a worthwhile notion or a little too commited?

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4 responses to “Is Your Wood Organic? (try vegan condoms)

    • Oh, don’t be too hard on yourself (no pun intended). You never know what might happen! Besides, nerds are sexy! Thanks for the comment and finding my blog 🙂

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