Tales From Under the Long Denim Skirt: Introduction

 

Greetings, little sluts!

One of the things my friends and I have noticed over the years about extremely conservative religious women is they all seem to adopt the same wardrobe, which inevitably seems to include the ubiquitous long denim skirt. It’s rather diverting, isn’t it? My (limited) understanding is that this unfortunate fashion choice is the result of a desire to preserve the virtue of modesty in their young women. You see, calves and ankles distract horny young Fundamentalist men from concentrating on girl’s faces, but if you make their body from the waist down an amorphous blob of blue fabric it removes all temptation.

Some of these groups of women include the likes of  the Duggars and the Westboro Baptist Church, both of whom I have endless inspiration for writing about. Not just the women either; the men are equally hilarious/confusing. Who knows what those skirts could tattle about?

So, I introduce my Tales From Under the Long Denim Skirt series, or TFULDS for short. Expect awkward hilarity in the near future!

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3 responses to “Tales From Under the Long Denim Skirt: Introduction

  1. You have to admit that they are very well engineered pieces of clothing. I would say they are the anti-angel-bra. How to hold thing up high with such little material is amazing. Just as amazing as creating a dark hole from all angles and stop any sight of a leg or ankle in ALL conditions.

    Here is some food for thought: denim is a very thick material. Is it not true then that denim skirts accentuate the hips, which may lead to the notion that a woman has good childbearing hips; thereby triggering impulses of procreation in males. Thus denim long skirts do–in a very hideous way–the same things as the push up bra does: tempt men (sans the female self confidence thing which we all know is dangerous).

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