Hey there seekers of uninhibited truth!
It’s been a month and a half hiatus for me, and I’ve missed you. Also, it was really encouraging to get comments/emails/tweets asking where I’ve been and when I was going to get crackalacking with some slutty blogness again. I had an enormous lifestyle change over the last 5 weeks or so, and it unfortunately required all of my attention.
I couldn’t think of a more appropriate time to make my grand re-entrance than the day another bigoted old white guy was elected Pope! I mean, seriously, I finally check my google news cache after a week, and its blowing up with articles about the newly minted pontiff.
It kind of amuses me how much ado is being made over an event that in actuality has about as much significance as a bat fart. 500 years ago, this could have made huge waves and meant the prosperity or adversity of entire nations and political climates. These days, the Pope is little more than a figurehead, much like Queen Elizabeth or Oprah. He represents a very conservative constituency of elderly white men who would like to believe what they say has sway with the world.
What’s sad to me, as a former Catholic, is how the Church has this major opportunity to embrace a little diversity, and possibly address issues that are pertinent to modern times rather than cling to their painfully antiquated notions of morality. I guess a part of me was clandestinely rooting for a black Pope, or a Pope who didn’t think God cared what women did with their uteruses. Or just a strong leader who wanted to take steps forward rather than stand and piss in the same spot as the last one.
In my naivete, I browsed the news sites only to find articles like the screen shot from above. He’s no better than the last one. The cardinals who convened to elect the new Pope just sat around for weeks and shot the shit, wagging their wrinkly old dicks at each other and trying to decide who was the goodiest good old boy of the group. I’m imagining a bigotry shaped cookie cutter mold of caucasian male. No different or more interesting than the last. Just the same old, same old.
How does the Catholic Church not understand why they have such a deficiency of priests, and such a rebellion from their flock as the result of the sex abuse scandals? As an organization, they are going extinct because they refuse to adapt and innovate. While they’re still selling snake oil, the more progressive Protestant denominations are at least able to attract the masses, and keep them entertained. The bells and smells aren’t enough for the majority of the younger generations of Catholics. At some point, they’re going to scratch their heads and ask why their Church refuses to let gay people or women serve as clergy, or wonder why condoms are so evil.
Just reading what the new Pope Francis I has to say about his plans for the papacy deeply saddens me. I wonder if he realizes how ridiculous it looks to wear that giant hat covered in gold when there are starving people in his country who will die this week never having had more than a few mouthfuls of food a day to call his or her own. I wonder if he’s ever known someone who died as a result of a dangerous pregnancy when an abortion in her early trimesters could have saved her. I wonder if he’s ever felt the pangs of poverty, or fallen in love with someone and wanted everyone to be able to feel that with someone else—regardless of their gender. I wonder if he really understands what it means to be human, let alone a leader of one of the largest denominations on earth.