You Might Be Dating A S.L.U.T If….

 

  1. You start going down on her and she lets you know her clit is about half an inch higher than you previously thought it was.
  2. You ejaculate in her mouth and her response is “hmmm….a slight hint of pineapple. Interesting.”
  3. When it takes longer to get her off, and you don’t understand why “all the other girls” came so much faster.
  4. That awkward moment when she explains the “other girls” were probably faking it because you didn’t know what you were doing, but they didn’t want to say anything.
  5. That even more awkward moment when you realize she’s probably right.
  6. When you try to tease her by remarking how attractive some other chick is, and her response is to look and say “damn, she is hot. Bet I could get in her pants before you.”
  7. Underwear? What underwear? It’s 90 degrees on a Tuesday, dude.
  8. You both orgasm in a passionate fury, and 10 minutes later she rolls over and says “ready for another go?”
  9. She talks you into letting her stick her finger in your backdoor and press your prostate while going down on you. You cum harder than you ever have in your life. You secretly wonder what this means.
  10. No, that’s not a neck massager. However, it does help her relax.

“72 virgins? Why not 72 slutty broads who know what they`re doing?”—Jeff Dunham

 

 

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16 responses to “You Might Be Dating A S.L.U.T If….

  1. I don’t know what to make of the fact that 6 is the only one that has happened to me (and we both failed to get into her pants).

    Also, lol 😀

  2. It’s sad to think of how many women, in this year of our lord, 2013, still don’t know how their own bodies work. And so many women, rather than have a healthy sexual experience, keep silent with incompetent men clumsily rutting away without ever hitting the sweet spot. I’ve met women, in their mid-late twenties, that still don’t know that pee comes out of a different hole! I met one woman who honestly believed that having sex with too many men will literally make her vagina loose. The worst one of course, is that there are still men who will openly admit that they won’t go down.

  3. I, too, am particularly fond of #6! It reminds me of a little conversation that occurred after a family dinner at Jack Astor’s. Coming out of the restaurant my hubby commented on how cute the waitress was and I agreed, saying playfully that I wondered if we could have coaxed her home with us. Our sons looked at each other and laughed…”No other mother would say that.” I assured them there WERE others who would 😛

    • I suppose that depends on your relationship. In my experience as a swinger, I’d always take the more active role and let them follow my lead when I got our conquest good and buttered up.

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