Slutty Book Report: Paradise Lust

Stop everything and join me in a fantasy for a moment. Yes, you.

Imagine the world has become a passionless planet of languid libidos, devoid of sexual desire. It would seem God in His Heaven was happy with such an obediently dull race. But it wasn’t always this way…

Once upon a time, when God created Eden, he was having a little trouble. Eve wasn’t having sex with Adam, and the future of humanity hung in the balance. So, Dear Lord turned to Lucifer for some help getting these two to…uh…cooperate with the “be fruitful and multiply” part. Leave it up to the Big Man to royally muck things up, then leave someone else to fix his flawed project, eh? So, good ol’ Lou creates a magic rock which has an extremely effective aphrodisiac effect on females. I like to think of it as the Rapin’ Rock. Things go quite well for Adam when he brings Eve to the aforementioned rock….only….she cries out “Oh, God!” which vexes the Devil to no end. Why should God get credit for his marvelous invention?

Paradise Lust gets kind of wacky after this point. In modern times, our dastardly Devil decides to stir things up on Earth as revenge against God. This results in everything from a dog eating pieces of the rock and shitting them out near humans (causing an orgy with the neighbors, cops, etc) to incest ( hot lesbian sister action) and adultery (don’t let your husband out or he may get raped by a horny rock sniffin’ woman).

I mean, the story was clever. I’m amused by the concept of Satan -inspired wayward fucking….but once we got to people getting a whiff of eau du dog defecation and then having sex with their siblings I was like…

atheist slut

…yeah….I dunno about this.  I think a better name for the book would’ve been “Cum One, Cum All.

Also, the chapters got extremely choreographed and predictable. Every single one started introducing a new character,  explaining briefly who they were to the other characters, and then finding those intoxicated by the rock and participating in some variation of the orgy. Like clockwork, it became a snowball of sin. I almost expected some local barnyard animals and toddlers to join in by the end, it was getting so bizarre. Instead, I would’ve enjoyed a more intricate plot interspersed with the gratuitous sex. Maybe a demon tiger monkey in the Garden of Eden or two. I don’t know.

Anyway, I did enjoy the book….for the most part. Thanks for the suggestion! And keep up the good work Joe Mudak!

P.S— If you’re new to my slutty book reports and would like to read some of my others, click here!

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